Saturday, 29 September 2012


I wouldn't share with anyone it did not matter who they were. My parents kept having to tell me that I had to learn to share my stuff. I got over it eventually but it did take a very long time to learn the art of sharing.

Moving and ASD

When I was 12 we moved and it was really hard on me. I did not say anything to my parents about how hard it was. It took me 3 years to get adjusted to the new house and location. I acted really bad for those 3 years and got into a lot of trouble. I skipped 2 months of school with out my parents knowing till one of the teachers bumped into them at the grocery store and asked if I was alright because I had missed the last 2 months of school. I also racked up $500 in long distance phone charges in one month phoning movie studios and threading to sue them for movies that used names that I had thought of using. It was a really bad time in my life but it did get better.

Benefits of Omega 3 fish oils and ASD

3 years ago my doc put me on Omega 3 fish oils and I had a really good improvement to them. He said that the brain needs oils to better communicate and so the fish oils will improve my brains ability to communicate. I highly recommend you try it for your ASDers because it really works. It makes you think more clearly, remember things better, pay more attention to stuff, react quicker to stuff, and so much more. You should talk to your doc about the benefits that Omega 3 fish oils could have on your ASDers.

Anxiety issues

I also have major anxiety issues and have a hard time adjusting to any change period. The start of school was very hard on me and I still get upset come september because of the start of the school year. I have been DX with social phobia also so it is a double whammy if I have to have a change and have new people involved in the new change.

My dreams come true

Most of my dreams come true for me. I am always having moments where I feel like I have already done them before and then I realize that I had a dream of doing exactly the same thing. I think that my whole life has already been planed out and I am just going along for the ride.

Friday, 21 September 2012

Asking to go to the washroom and ASD

 I always had trouble asking to go to the washroom. especially in school. I would hold it at all cost so as not to disturb the class. that meant that I was not always successful and would do it in class. Most of that was caused by the teachers that got so fed up with people asking to go when they did not need to go just for an excuse to leave class and so no pee breaks were allowed between classes. you had to wait till break time. I could not hold it that long some times. It when on like this till grade 7 when they finely put a not in my file that I can leave the classroom at any time without asking.

New School and ASD

So I went to a new school for grade 7 on a small island where they do not take kindly to the city folk. I had no friends and the kids their was being as miserable to me as they possibly could be.

The pushed me, hit me, spit on me, body checked me, sandwiched me and every possible thing to make me unwelcome their.

During recess I used to stand in a corner by myself and try not to get anybody attention so that they would just leave me alone.

At lunch i would just try and find a quiet place by myself to eat my lunch in peace with out being called names or having my lunch splashed on me.

Both my parents were working full time so they had no idea how bad it was for me or what was going on at school.

It got so bad that i just started not going to school and staying home sick. My voice had dropped by then so I would call in sick pretending to be my dad.

It worked to for more than a month I did not go to school. Till one day one of the teachers from the school bumped into my parents at the grocery store and asked after my health about why I had missed so much school.

That was the end of my staying at home from school. So I put on a brave face and got the rest of the year out of the way as quickly and quietly as I could.

My first bad Bully and ASD

A new kid moved in right behind our house when I turned 12 and their boy way 13 and he was the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. The moment the boy say me he new that I was disabled and would be easy to beat up and take advantage of.

he would trip me, push me, hit me, spit on me, ram my head into the ground. AND this was a daily experience for me for the second half of grade 6. I was terrified of going to school and more terrified trying to get home again.

My parents went to talk to his parents but his parents said it way me hurting him and not the other way around.

My parents went to the police and they said till their is serious injury caused they can not get in involved.

So my parents put the house up for sale and we moved away to a small island with ferry service to the city that we had just sold from.

Friends and ASD

I did not make my first friend till a kid down the road showed up and started talking to me about him self and how much he loved planes trains and big equipment. I made a friend in no time and that was when I was 4 years old. My second friend I made was a referral from him so one day at school he introduced this other kid to me and that was when I was 6 and in grade 1. So latter that day the kid asked me if I wanted to be friends with him so I said sure.

My friendship with the first friend ended when I was 16 but It was on the way out since I was 10. When I made friends with a new kid to school my first friend got really jealous and it hurt out friendship hard.

My friendship with my second friend ended when he turned 12. He wanted to be with the cool kids and I was not one of them so we went our separate ways and have not seen each other since.

the third friend ended when he turned 13 the same old story he was too good to be friends with me so we went our separate ways and have not seen each other since.

 had found two boys 2 years younger than me that because my friends once I started grade 8. so for that year I had two friends but it did not last one moved away at the end of the school year and the other wanted cooler friends his own age.

When I started grade 9 I met my BFF who just lives less than a block away. He is disabled himself so it is a good matchup. I don;t know what his disability is. It has something to do with having a extra x chromosome but still being male.

We have been friends ever since then and keep in touch on a regular occasion. He is married now but is unable to have kids. His wife has ADHD so they are good together.

playing with other kids in pre grade one and ASD

I never played with any of the kids when i was in pre school or kindergarten. I just found a nice place by my self to play with the toys. I loved trains back then and got to go on some train rides across the country which I really loved. They had a wooden train set that you could put together and take apart the tracks and put them in al sorts of different patterns I would spend hours doing that. taking them apart and putting them back together in a different way.

Presents and ASD

I think of all the crazy things I asked for for christmas and my birthday. Like a horse, dirt bike, go kart, hover craft, trip to space, a pet t-rex. compared to some Like a new game or book or comic or upgrade to my computer. Or even a dog or cat seems small compared with some of the stuff i thought up for myself.

The Lion King

 I loved the lion king movies too. I even got so obsessed with them that I made a movie script for a sequel called the return of the lions. and sent in to them at the disney company. They sent a polite page back saying that they have their own people to come up with ideas for sequels but that I could join the summer acting camp they do every year in hollywood and see if acting is something that I would want to get into. My parents thought it was so sweat of them. I was pretty disappointed though.

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Public speaking, my success and ASD

I hate speaking in public it gives me a total meltdown every time I have to do it. I am not all that successful yet. I live at home, work one day a week and clean the house one other day a week. I have nothing published and do not make any money other then what the government gives me. I work as a volunteer and only get $30 a week from my parents for keeping the house clean.

Communicating and ASD

It really is exhausting and causes lots of anxiety trying to communicate with people. I like text communication because I can take my time saying what I really want. It is really hard to use speech to communicate because the way you say something can mean so many different things.

Participation in sports and ASD

By the time I was 10 I could not participate properly because I could not get enough oxygen to my brain and muscles. If I did any serious exercise I would pass out and it would take me several minutes before I would even wake up. a couple hours to fully recover from it. so I stopped participating with any effort in PE. which lowered my grades to C-.


the only time I can ever remember getting seizures is from bad side effect from meds but I may get them all the time and not now about it.

High School and ASD

I hatted every second I had to spend in that school and the bus rides were nightmarish. Most of the time the other students would not even let me sit down. the bus driver did not care he would drive to the locations he was told to. did not matter to him if I was sitting or not. I had to take 2 busses and 2 ferries each day to high school. what a nightmare. I did not even have a worker I had to figure everything out on my own. and high school is the worst because you now have 4 or 5 different classes each day and each day they are at a different time. and then half way through the year they do it all over again with 4 or 5 new classes to do for the rest of the year. That can be up to 10 different classroom and teachers to remember over the school year. I did not even bother to use the lockers they assigned me I could not ever remember the combination for it and it changed every year. not to mention having a second locker in the gyms locker room with a different lock combo to try to remember. those were the worst years of my life and I am glad never to have to relive them ever again.

disabled people near me and not saying stuff unless it is nice

There are not that many disabled people That I get to see every day. and the average tantrum I see is from a pre-schooler not getting what he wants from his parents. I am a very independent person so I see a lot more melt downs than my parents foo. The ones they do see I usually never ask them whats wrong with that kid because I have been there and I kinda know what is wrong. plus I have always be
en told if you have nothing good to say than don;t say anything at all. I got that a lot because I would say what was on my mind and it used to never be good. My parents would never tell me more than if I asked something like that they would say the same thing "if you have nothing good to say then don;t say anything at all".

Christmas and new years

Christmas and new years were not much better for me also. i never get any sleep christmas eve. I think it goes back to when I was 5 and I was determined to catch santa in the act of putting out the presents. I stayed up all night and caught my parents in the act. that was the end of the illusion of santa for me.

I really hate September and October

I really hate September and October. September always reminds me of going back to school and that meant a new teacher and new classroom to try to remember. I hatted going back to school. with in a week or two I would be fine I just hatted the going back part not the school part. I did not mind school so much as the change in routine. October is thanksgiving up here in canada plus I have my moms and my grandma's birthdays and holloween to deal with. It is just too much to deal with in a shot period of time thats all.

Getting it good and ASD

man kids get it good these days. I never had any OT, PT, ST or stuff like it when I was a kid. I never had a aid worker or got any treatments. I guess it helps to get the DX early not like me starting at 17. That is way too late to be of much good. I had to do all the regular classes and courses. I had to fend for myself. Teachers never paid me the siltiest bit of attention. I never got any help from teachers to teach me anything. I had to teach myself how to do everything. I was expected to do everything a regular kid has to do at each stage of the game. The problem is that I never told anyone that I really could've used some help.

Knowing that I was different

I always new that I was different from other kids my age but I never really thought of myself as having more than just a mild learning disability. So it was not really that hard or difficult for me but I think it was for my parents to see how I was treated by the other kids. I had a couple good friends and whenever I lost a friend I usually found one or more to replace him with. I am still getting used to all of the symptoms and more seem to crop up or get worse every year.

Speech and ASD

I had a lot of trouble with speech when I was little right up till I was 14. I had a speech doc till I was 16. I used to studder a lot too when I would get anxious. I am for the most part pretty good these days. A lot has to do with Being a lot less anxious these days.

Computer games and ASD

I found turn based computer games to help a lot. Like civilization and games like that. They are educational and fun.

Anti-Depresents and ASD

I was never medicated for ADHD. I was for the OCD symptoms and it was a nightmare. For me anti depresents caused me to get many times worse.

Hospitalized, Meds and ASD

I have been hospitalized 9 times over the years since I was 17. the last time was 2 and a half years ago. I was having a psychotic break at all 9 times. all of them caused by bad medication side effects. I have had to change my meds more times than I can count. So if you are noticing any strange behaviour or lots of bad meltdowns on meds it might be the meds causing them. You may have trouble getting any doc to think that the meds are the problem but trust me they defiantly can be. I am not saying that the meds will be the problem just that they might be.

What has helped me a lot and ASD

Becoming really good at something has helped me a lot. I am really good at computers in fact I am a certified computer technician and graduated with a 95% overall grade from collage. I only got my grade 10 but graduated from collage figure that one out. I work at Literacy Nanaimo refurbishing old computers to give to families on welfare. So I really like my job now and am really good at it.

My curent meds and ASD

I am on buspirone, atavan and resperidal the buspirone is for my anxiety the atavan is for when I am haveing a meltdown or really need some sleep and the resperidal is for day to day treatment of some of the more unwieldy symptoms that I suffer from. Like seeing stuff that is not their and hearing stuff that is not their. it does not happen all the time but when I am really stressed out my mind starts to play trics on me and the voices get out of control and make me do stuff that I regret after word. That is why I have had a hard time keeping a job.

Canada Disability Benefits and ASD

Up here in canada we have what is called the disability tax credit which gives you up to $35000 in tax credits. my parents have been claiming it on theirs since they found out. Plus once you turn 19 as a disabled person you get $900 a month in support, a year city bus pass, and 50% off ferry fares. If the disabled person does not make enough to use the tax credits it can be used on the parents income taxes. You get all medication paid for, all hospital visits, doc appointments, dentists, and glasses paid for. They pay you extra for your utilities bills also. Plus you can make $800 a month without losing any benefits.

My math skills and ASD

I am beter at algebra or trigonometry then any basic math. It took me three years to figure out how to do geometry.
I once in grade 8 figured out how many nano seconds a person would live if they lived to 100 years old and I did it all over lunch break by hand with no calculator. Do you realize how big a number that is. their are 100 nano seconds in a millisecond, 100 milliseconds in a second, 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in a hour, 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, 30.44 days in a month, 52 weeks in a year, 365.25 days in a year, for 100 years. that is one hell of a large number and I figured it out in 40 minutes.

My Academic testing and ASD

When they test my academic skills it shows that I have grade 2 age 7 writing, grade 4 age 9 spelling, grade 6 age 11 reading and grade 9 age 13 math skills. that was done 8 years ago when I was 24.

Hight and Weight and ASD

I am 5 foot 8 and way 114 pounds. I have next to no muscle tone in any of my body even less in my left arm which is pretty much useless. Thank god I am right handed because I can not use my left hand for any thing except typing and holding onto utensils. I can not move my left hand to cut food so I hold the fork in it while I use my right to cut the food then take the fork in my right hand to eat with.
I can not even move it to print with or catch with or any thing. It is so annoying.

Reading for fun and ASD

I did not start to read for fun till i was 18 and my parents bought me the first harry potter book. Till then I thought reading was just a waste of time and would have nothing to do with it.
Since then I have become a big time reader and have read more than 50 books for fun.

Distractions and ASD

Really any type of distraction from what is causing me to have my meltdown helps but music is the best for me. I like tv shows, movies and audio books for this too but music is still the best for me.

Music and ASD

I love music and have loved music since the first time I herd it. I love singing to music, dancing to it, listening to it. any thing with music is a passion of mine. 
I calm down drastically when listening to music so when ever I get upset or am starting to have a meltdown I grab my iPod and plug in the ear phones and play some music and it calms me right down in no time.

Feelings and ASD

I hate when people ask how i feel. I have no freaking idea how I feel so stop asking me this please and thank you. I could not tell you or anyone how I am felling at any given time. I might be able to tell you if it is a really strong emotion that I am feeling but otherwise I have no clue.

Frustrations and ASD

It is just so frustrating to feel like you should be able to do all the normal stuff that every body else does and that it should not be this hard or difficult. That their is no rhyme or reason for how much anxiety you feel all the time. That it should not be this hard to talk to people and keep friends. It really is hard to deal with some times. I just wish the good days would out way the bad days once in a while.

My Testing

I have been tested and have the full mutation of over 200 repeats. I guess I was just lucky that it does not affect me as badly as it affects some. But I almost wish I had it worse or not at all because I think that I should be able to live on my own and keep a job and have a some what normal life but I just never seem to be able to.

My Diagnoses

the docs first DX was OCD at 16 a year latter they said PDD-NOS then 6 months latter said ASD and I just found out about the FX. at 30.

Brain Tumour

He got to grow up with my birth mother till she died when he was 14. I never got to meet her so all I have is what my brother said about her and what my blood grandmother said and what was in her medical file. she died from a brain tumour so that is how I found out about them at all. the docs got in touch with my parents to get me tested when I was 16.

Brothers and ASD

I am 18 months older than my brother but have not spoken to him in 10 years. I was adopted at 18 months and did not find out about him till 10 years ago. we met once and he is so much like me it is amazing. he does not look like me but his mannerisms are so similar you would atomically know that we were brothers.

Amazing Memory and ASD

I have a amazing memory. My parents treat me like a encyclopedia for movies, tv shows, books, computers and the like.

Catch 22 being High Functioning and ASD

It is a catch 22 being high functioning because I am too HF too get any real help but not HF enough to keep a job or live on my own. I have gone through 5 jobs in the last 6 years so far and it does not look like it is going to get much better.

Pretending to read and ASD

I used to memorize all the fairy tales my parents used to say to me every night and they thought that I could read too but I could not I was just pretending to.

Hart Murmur and ASD

I have a heart murmur that causes me some problems because it does not pump at a regular beat so the oxygen does not get to my muscles in a regular time frame so they get weak a lot of the time.

Hyper-extensible Joints and ASD

I have the hyper-extensible joints and my joints get dislocated all the time. In fact I tend to crack almost every joint in my body at one time or another jurying each and every day.

Ticks and ASD

when I get really anxious I get bad ticks and loss of muscle control. My face muscles start jumping around and so does my shoulder muscles. It is really annoying.

Spacial awareness and ASD

I have terrible depth perception and spacial awareness and can not tell how far anything is from me or how fast it is traveling towards me. As a result I was terrible at sports especially ones where stuff was hurtled at me. Like almost all the sports out their except golf and bowling. The only problem with golf is that I can't tell how far or where my ball went so I have to have someone looking for me for where it went.

Squinting and ASD

I squint at everything even if it is not bright out. I think it is to limit the amount of visual information going to the brain to stop a overload. I tend to close my eyes when my picture is being taken because I am afraid of the flash the camera makes.

Fixations and ASD

It is better to know lots about a select few subject then know little about lots of subjects. That is why I like to be fixed on a few subjects that I like.

Scratching and ASD

I always have to watch myself that I don't start scratching myself because if I start it is hard for me to stop. It feels so good to scratch myself that I get carried away and scratch till I ooze and bleed. I usually scratch my arms, feet, nose, and crotch. Whatever is closest and itching the most gets my attention at that time. On my feet I use anti fungal cream to stop the itching and it works good for stoping it.

Routine and ASD

I always want to know what to expect in any given situation so that I can be prepared to react fast if I need to. If I am caught off guard it can take me a long time to react and that can get me into trouble. That is why I do not like change in routine because it means that I do not know what to expect and usually get myself into trouble as a result.

Ears, hand flapping, shy, hyperactive and ASD

When I was little I was really shy and really hyperactive. I also had really prominent ears that stuck way out. I had surgery to fix the ears when i was 5 years old.
I always do a lot of hand flapping when I get excited and the more excited I get the faster I flap my hands.

Measles and ASD

When I was two I got the Japanese measles and got very sick but I survived and built up a good resistance to the measles.

Disney World the first time

We went to disney world in orlando Florida the winter before moving to nanaimo bc. I do not remember much of that trip. Also on that trip we went to mexico where I do remember being on a beach with lots of mexican little kids rubbing my hair because they had never seen red hair before.
I had my second birthday in mexico at some time share resort that my parents had. I do not remember much about that either.

The first move with a touch of heat stroke

When my parents moved from Brandon Manitoba to Nanaimo BC it was one of the hottest summers on record. We left the middle of August 1984 to have a new start in a new city where the weather was much nicer then that of the prairies.
On the way I got a bad case of heat stroke and had to be taken to the hospital in Kamloops BC. My parents had to give me cold showers and popsicles to get me rehydrated and drop my temperature.
We were taking different cars when we got to the ferry. My dad was in the moving van and my mom and me were in the car. We were able to get on the ferry but my dad with the moving van did not. He had all the information about where we were going once the ferry landed. We had all the money with us so he could not buy anything.
When the ferry landed my mom just found a place to park and we waited for my dad with the moving van to come on the next ferry.
My mom got very sick with the flue latter that day so my dad had to unload every thing from the moving van into the new apartment by himself up two sets of stairs. While me and my mom laid down and had a nap.

Ear Infections and ASD

I got a ear infection in my right ear when I was two that was not caught till it was too late so I am partially hearing impaired in that ear.

Pre-School and ASD

I started pre-school that year also but I spent most of the time hiding under the tables instead of playing with the other children. It was in a church near ware we were renting at the time and had a grate playground.
My parents also used to take me to the local elementary school to use their playground. I used to love the swings their and the sandbox.
In the house we were renting we had a young family living in the basement with a little girl who I used to play with
We lived in a apartment before renting the house but I do not remember anything about that.

My third Memory

The third thing that I can remember is sitting right underneath the TV with my nose almost touching the screen. I did this every day till I got glasses and could see what was on the TV.
I was three years old when my parents finally took me to a eye doctor to get my eyes tested. I ended up having 400/20 vision in my left eye and 200/20 in my right eye. I ended up also having lazy eye in my left eye. I wore an eye patch on my right eye to strengthen up my left eye. Plus from that point forward I had to ware glasses. I was considered legally blind without my glasses.

My first steps and ASD

My parents would try and get me walking whenever they could and I just kept tripping over my feet and they could not understand that it was because I could not see anything.

My Second Memory

The second thing that I can remember is trying to walk with both of my parents holding one of my hands. My mom was holding my right hand and my dad was holding my left hand. I was not wearing glasses at the time and could not see my own two feet let alone anything else so I kept tripping over my feet.

My First Memory

The first thing that I can remember is being in my crib at night. There is a light shining under the door to my room. The door is closed and the lights in my room are off. I am trying to sleep lying on my back with a brown teddy bear in my arms. I hear my name said from my mother, which is in the dinning room down the hall from my room. It wakes me up and I try to hear the rest of the conversation about me but cannot make out what is being said so I try to go aback to sleep.
I am going to be writing excerpts out of the book about myself that I am writing.